Minds
by White Moon Goddess
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the characters of Yu Yu Hakusho are thinking? Well, this (hopefully) will be a collection of "mind shots". **Yay!! New Chapie!!**
1. definition

Disclaimer: I have never owned Yu Yu Hakusho, I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho, and I never will own Yu Yu Hakusho, unless I win the lottery. And if I do, the series would be much longer, Kurama would be in his kitsune form much more often, and Kuwabara would always, ALWAYS keep his shirt on! (Of course, the opposite would be true for Yusuke ^-^) So there you go.  
  
definition  
  
The busy city streets, filled to the brim with activity on this Friday afternoon, gradually fade to trees and small, well-distanced homes outside the bus window I'm staring at. As the bus takes turns at breakneck speed, I pay little mind to the scenery, the other passengers, or even the reckless driver who is now putting 15 lives in danger. No, my mind is focused singularly on my destination, and my purpose today. My destination? That's an easy one. Genkai's shrine. My purpose?  
  
I'm not so sure.  
  
I pondered this question while straitening my knee-length blue skirt, subconsciously reacting to the man sitting across the aisle who keeps giving me lewd looks. Good thing Yusuke isn't here, or the guy would have been unconscious on the floor 10 minutes ago.  
  
I sighed, thinking of Yusuke for what must have been the 100th time that day. That bastard.  
  
Even when he's not in the same world as I, he's on my mind. Which, I add, must be a part of this Kami-sama forsaken purpose of mine.  
  
I shake my head, clearing it of these most recent thoughts of that baka. Hearing whispering voices to my right, I look up, only to find a group of Shinfukura High School girls looking right back at me. I divert my eyes and listen intently, but I can only hear snippets of what they're saying.  
  
"Something Keiko...Urameshi's girlfriend..."  
  
"That street punk?"  
  
"Yeah...Urameshi Yusuke..."   
  
I stopped looking and turned back to the window, eyes narrowed. Those girls might be gossipy, but they had yet again reminded me of Yusuke...and more importantly, my purpose...  
  
What's the problem with my purpose? I'll tell you. I don't have one.  
  
A purpose, I mean. A...a definition.  
  
All my life, I've been what I'd consider a decent person. Good grades, fine at sports, a helpful daughter. Ever supportive, always courteous, constantly cheery.  
  
And yet, I don't have definition.  
  
Every time someone talks to me, looks at me, or even thinks about me, what is the next thing they think of?  
  
My high school...  
  
The Ramen Shop...  
  
Yusuke...  
  
But not me.  
  
I am merely a precursor to everything. I just accompany everything. I influence, I embellish, I emphasize.  
  
I'm a god damn accessory.  
  
That's why I'm going to the shrine. That's why I've spent every weekend training with Genkai. To search for the real me.  
  
Don't get me wrong. Yusuke's my best friend...no, more than that. I love him. And before he went to the Makai, where he's been for the past 2 years and 10 months, he asked me to marry him. And thought I didn't say anything to him, in my head I was screaming, "YES!!!!" at the top of my lungs. I can't wait for him to get back. But I can't be defined by him. I won't be known as just "The Great Urameshi's wife" for the rest of my life. I can't.  
  
So since he's been gone, I've started making changes. Little changes, mind you. I grew my hair out. I've become more assertive. But mostly, I've been learning.  
  
How to play the guitar.  
  
How to watch without being watched.  
  
How to flirt.  
  
How to enjoy shonen Manga as much as any guy.  
  
How to heal, from Yukina.  
  
How to read the Tarot, from Shizuru.  
  
How to control my emotions.  
  
But most importantly...how to fight...  
  
That's right. Fight. And not just my normal slaps either. Punches. Kicks. Rolls.  
  
And Spirit Energy...  
  
Moreover, no Rei Gun for me. I refused to learn it, when Genkai offered. So, with her help, I developed my own weapon. Spirit Knives. Useful for both close and long range fighting. And my energy isn't blue. It's a pleasant shade of golden yellow.  
  
I've used them, too. When Yusuke left, he forgot one thing: I'm still here. I guess quite a few demons at the Dark Tournament got a pretty good look at me. I've been attacked 8 times in the past three years. The first time was only a month after Yusuke had left. I can only pray in thanksgiving that Kuwabara was only a block away, or I wouldn't be here. After that, I decided it would be in my best interest to learn to defend myself, and Genkai offered to teach me a little something. That "little something" turned into over two and a half years of training. Genkai wasn't nearly as tough on me as she was on Yusuke, and she went at a slower pace, but I still picked up quite a bit. I developed my Spirit Knives only about six months ago, and I was attacked again only 3 weeks after that.  
  
Trust me, they do their job.  
  
So here I am, on the bus to Genkai's for one of my twice-weekly sessions. She doesn't show it, but Genkai's just as excited as I am for Yusuke to get home. You can see it in her eyes.  
  
I wonder what he'll think of me when he gets back. I mean, I'm not 15 anymore. And I've changed. But I'll deal with him when the time comes.  
  
Because I'm no longer just Yukimura-san's daughter.  
  
I'm not just some faceless name on a plaque.  
  
I'm not just "Urameshi's girl".  
  
I'm Yukimura Keiko. But I think he'll be just fine with that.  
  
Cause I sure am!  
  
Woohoo! Done with that! Hopefully, this is just the first in a series of what characters are thinking. I should be in bed, cause it's ten at night, and I have my AP US History exam tomorrow. So what do I do? I write Yu Yu Hakusho stuff! Hooray! After tomorrow, I think I'll lounge around and just watch Love Hina or Chobits. Ah, the possibilities!  
  
Anyway, next on the list should be Yusuke, but I still might change my mind. Maybe Yukina, or Botan. I don't know. I love all the female characters in YYH. They're all really cool, not to mention interesting. And the guys? Well, they're all interesting too, and with the exception of Kuwabara, they're all hot!   
  
By the way, my opinion on YYH couples, since I might be talking about them in these little one-shots. I'm very, very pro-Yusuke and Keiko, and Yukina and Kuwabara are ok. For Botan and Koenma, and Hiei and Kurama, I could lean either way. They could be couples, they could not be. I don't know. They don't really tell us in the show, so it's up to the imagination, I suppose.  
  
Anyway, time for sleep. I have to wake up at five thirty tomorrow to get to the test on time. Nighty-night!  
  
By the way: Little Serenity, Panther, and Keitaro, best of luck tomorrow! You guys are the greatest!  
  
Sayonara! 


	2. redemption

Disclaimer: Je ne props pas Yu Yu Hakusho. Je ne proprais jamais Yu Yu Hakusho. Ainsi, je suis triste. Mais, je peux tout de même aimer l'étonnement attrayant Yusuke! Ha Ha! Je suis le vainqueur!  
  
(Translation: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. I will never own Yu Yu Hakusho. Thus, I am sad. But I can still love the amazingly attractive Yusuke! Ha ha! I am the victor!)  
  
redemption  
  
(Note: This might seem jumpy, but I'm just trying to simulate an agitated person's thought patterns. Please don't kill me!)   
  
  
  
The wind echoes through the dark forest as I stand, balanced, on the top of a particularly tall tree outside of the psychic Genkai's home. The slight trace of rain resides in the night air, and the faint sounds of lightning aren't too far off. The sky is still clear though, and the cheerful stars make me wonder how I could feel alone when I'm surrounded by so much.  
  
I stare in the window of Genkai's main house, watching the action inside. The psychic sits, sipping tea and speaking calmly to Kurama. Keiko is yelling at Yusuke, probably for some thing he's said. The idiot's sister is beating the idiot...who is HOLDING YUKINA'S HAND!!!! Just wait, I'll go down there and show him not to...  
  
Wait...I can't. She...she still doesn't know.  
  
She can't know.  
  
I've never really told anyone about my view on this whole damn situation, other than, believe it or not, Yusuke. Not even Kurama knows.  
  
She's smiling gently, and starts healing the moron, who's black and blue from Shizuru's assault. She smiles even wider. She's so pretty when she smiles. I wish I could see her smile more often...but, of course, I can't see her up close too often...  
  
Because she's smart. Because she'll figure it out. The way our hair points at the tips, the way our hands are both small with long fingers that joint a bit farther from the base, a trait only exhibited by ice koorime. The fact that a fire demon happens to hang around a spirit detective. It's only a matter of time before she sees...  
  
And I can't have that happen.  
  
Imagine, having a twin sister, and not even being able to speak to her. She's been searching for me, and I have to let her down...again.  
  
Those damn ice koorimes!! They're the ones who shunned me! They're the ones who left me for dead and made me into this monster!!!!  
  
The wind starts blowing harder, as if reflecting my very thoughts. I leap to a tree closer to the ground, to avoid being blown away by my own fury. I breathe deeply, calming myself.  
  
No. Those bitches might have abandoned me, left me to the mercy of the elements, but no one is more at fault for what I am than myself. I'm the one who turned to a life of crime. They may have set me on the path, but I'm the one who chose to walk down it. And my true punishment? Having to watch my sister be coddled by the biggest moron in the three worlds!!!  
  
Damned Kuwabara! Keep your hands to yourself! But still...he makes her smile.  
  
I don't understand it. He's the weakest of the Reikai Tantei, he's a moron with a big mouth and an empty head, and he can't do anything right without a babysitter standing over him.  
  
So how does he make her smile like that?  
  
I hate to admit it, but I'm jealous. If only that could be me, comforting her, laughing with her, swearing to always protect her...a job for her brother. But I can't do that, not yet. Only Kuwabara.  
  
I'd interfere if I thought that Yukina was unhappy, or if Kuwabara even touched her hand without her consent, but I've never seen her happier. Even when we were children, I would hide up in the trees and watch her play with the birds and rabbits in the snow. She was always happy when she was surrounded by nature, but watching her now...she's in ecstasy. She glows. So I'll let them stay together...for now. The minute idiot-boy puts a toe out of line, he'll be in miniscule pieces.  
  
I need to refocus my thoughts. My mind is all over the place tonight. I breathe in and out, slowly, concentrating only on the shifting tree I'm balanced on. I've always enjoyed standing on tall objects. It somehow makes me feel in control, plus, it's nice to get a view from up high for once. I smile sardonically. Me, Hiei, joking around. Yukina must be able to heal the mind as well as body.  
  
It wasn't long ago that I wouldn't be doing this. Hanging around humans, being patient with someone as stupid as Kuwabara, even thinking about anything deeply. No, my thoughts were on three things only: hunt, kill, burn. Somehow, knowing I have a sister, knowing I have to protect her, has changed me. How odd. Kurama had the same exact effect.  
  
Kurama...how long have we been friends? I can't remember...a long time though. He was the first, the only person who accepted me, back then. I still wonder: how would all of this have turned out, without him? Kurama...  
  
"Hello up there" a voice calls out from the dark below me.  
  
"Hello yourself, Kurama." The red-haired man stares up at me, not at all fazed by my aloof response.  
  
"What are you doing?" I look away, virtually ignoring him, willing him to leave me to my thoughts. "Thinking?"  
  
Damn, he's good.  
  
"Yes"  
  
"What about?"  
  
"A great deal of things."  
  
"I see." He looks back behind him, then again at me. "So, I assume I cannot convince you to join us for dinner tonight?"  
  
"I..."  
  
"Oh, I forgot to mention, Yukina made it." I stare at him incredulously, and he smirks generously back. He's very good.  
  
I pause, thinking again. But for once, I make up my mind, and make a good decision.  
  
"I think I will join you, Kurama." I leap down from my perch, landing softly on the ground.  
  
"Good." Kurama turns and walks slowly towards the house.  
  
Yes. Yes, I will eat dinner with them. It's not a confession, but it's a start. One day...but for now, it's dinner...just as long as I don't have to sit near idiot boy!  
  
Ah, another chappie done! I'm so happy! I was writing this while in speech class, and I think my teacher was giving me looks, but I ignored her. People were just giving very boring speeches on things like the effects food has on the mind and TV shows. The only really good speech today was on cardboard, believe it or not. The guy who gave it can make anything entertaining.   
  
To everyone who reviewed last chapter, thank you sooooooooo much!!!! I've never gotten more than two reviews on any one story. To think that I got ten in one day is overwhelming; when I saw, I was literally jumping up and down. Anyway, some responses:  
  
Bard: I appreciate your thinking it was cool. By the way, at the end of the series, Yusuke goes of to the Makai for three years to train and for other things I won't tell you because it would be a complete spoiler. But before he goes, he ends up completely pissing Keiko off, and then tells her that he'd marry her when he comes back. So there you go.  
  
Kage Kitsune: Yes, Kuwabara's would be hilarious. I gotta think of a good plot for that one...  
  
Asteria: Yeah, I think Keiko really deserved a change. I mean, she's not weak or anything. But by the way, I'm using the character's names the way they're said in Japanese: First name last, Last name first. Most Asian cultures are like that. I think that's why when Kuwabara was shouting over the loudspeaker in the Dark Tournament, Shizuru said something to the extent of "how dare he use our family name". It's just a cultural thing.  
  
Unity-Girl: The only reason I had Keiko fighting was because I think she was pushed to her limit. She's a very independent girl, and I think she would do something like that if she had to. Also, I may not directly talk about the "questionable" couples, which could go either way, but, as you see, I will gladly hint about it!  
  
Natalie: "Women of the World, Unite! You have nothing to lose but your vacuumes!" (My friend Keitaro is always calling me a feminist) The exams are hard, but if you study your brains out, I'm sure you'll do fine. Kuwabara is a dork, but at least he's a nice dork. (Jeeze, all I can see right now is that scene from Poltergeist Report...Kuwabara finds out that Yukina is at Genkai's, and he goes running down the hall *in the wrong direction* screaming "Yukina Yukina!" ^-^)  
  
i: Guess it's not all arson and killing. There's also Kuwabara bashing!  
  
Thanks to everybody who reviewed!! Please review again! And tell me who you want next! (Not Yusuke, though. I'm saving him for last! ^-^) See you guys later!!!  
  
-WMG  
  
(P.S. I made the whole koorime hand thing up, but it would explain why Hiei is so good with a sword, no?) 


	3. acceptance

Disclaimer: Oh, dear. I can't think of anything at all clever to say here, so I think that I shall simply leave it at "Yu Yu Hakusho is not mine" Yes, I think that will work nicely.  
  
acceptance  
  
(Author's note: I do not AT ALL condone smoking. It is merely used for symbolism, and it's a habit of Shizuru. Trust me on this one, I'm a Southern Californian, and we all hate cigarette smoke. Anyway, on with the story!)  
  
***  
  
"Koneka gets your clothes feather-soft and clean as a-"  
  
"Try Genki for all your Tupperware needs-"  
  
"Use Shinichi rice, It's really nice, For tasty sushi, Use Shinichi-"  
  
I hate commercials.  
  
It's not just that they're stupid, boring, unconvincing, and pointless. It's also because they can't hold my attention for more than 2 seconds. And I desperately want to be distracted.  
  
It was only happened this morning, when Yusuke, Kurama and Hiei showed up at our front door, asking for Kazuma. I, being the good sister I am, delivered him promptly to the door, then requested that they come inside for tea and rice cakes. They declined, they grabbed my brother, they left. All while leaving me gaping at the door. All alone.  
  
I rise from the ugly brown couch and slowly walk to the kitchen, my footsteps echoing quietly through the hall. I stop to look at some of the photos on the wall. The majority are of our parents and distant relatives, but there is one in particular that I want to look at. My eyes scan the wall until I locate it, a small photo in a boring brown frame. Nothing out of the ordinary. It's of Kazuma and I. I was only about seven, pushing a little 2-year-old with fire red hair and two large front teeth on a rusty swing. It's the only picture in the collection that is of us as children.  
  
I love that picture.  
  
I continue on tho the kitchen, and pour myself a cup of the now cold tea, staring at it forlornly. How long ago was it that Kazuma came running when I had made him a snack? That he would have told me beforehand that he was going out, and where he was going, and everything else that was going on in his life? How long ago was that? I don't remember.  
  
I need a cigarette.  
  
I can't even remember how I picked up this nasty little habit, but it was a long time ago. Kazuma doesn't approve, but...who cares what that moron thinks?!  
  
I don't mean that. For all that I beat him up, I do care. What kind of heartless creature would I be if I didn't care about my own brother?  
  
I take a long drag on my cigarette, and slowly, slowly exhale the smoke. What a noxious odor, I think to myself. And yet, it somehow fits me, right now, in this when and where. Dark...mysterious...shadowy. Like an old movie.  
  
If I were a poet, I'd say that my soul is in a sea of torment and dispair. But I'm not a poet, so I'll just say I'm really pissed. I love my baby brother, but this...this whole "spirit cop" thing...he just runs off, all the time, not only leaving me alone, but leaving me to explain where the hell he is to our parents! He...he just abandons us here to go off on his little adventures! For Kami-sama's sake, he went off to the Dark Tournament, to die for all I knew, without saying a damn word! And it's not just him, and it's not just me. All of them, Kurama, Hiei, Yusuke; they just go off. And it's not just me, but Botan, and Suichi's mother, and Genkai. Even worse is when Yusuke and Kazuma don't say a word to Keiko and Yukina. It's not fair! It's not fair that all we can do is sit at home and cry! That we don't know if those men are ever going to come home!  
  
I just...sometimes I wish I could go along with them. I could be an asset, I know I could. I have stronger spirit awareness than even Kazuma, and my training in martial arts is decent. I was able to defeat quite a few demons outside the arena of the Dark Tournament. I could help!  
  
I glance up, and take a sip of my now room-temperature tea. Though my mind has been racing, my countenance has retained its normal stoic qualities. I sigh, releasing a large amount of pent-up anxiety.   
  
Who am I kidding? I couldn't do half the things the Reikai Tantei can do. Maybe if I had trained for years, like Genkai, but...no. Perhaps...perhaps, this is where I am meant to be. If my psychic training has taught me anything, it's that sometimes we must go along with fate.  
  
Maybe I'm meant to be here. There's something to be said for the sarcastic advice from the sidelines...along with the occasional ass kicking.  
  
I put my cigarette out, stand, and stretch my legs. Maybe I can't directly help those gangling boys, but I suppose that I can help in the ways that I can. I mean, cheerleaders may not be the main focus when a person goes to a sports game, but they're still influential.  
  
I pick up my jacket and keys, and head out the door. I'm going to go talk to the girls. I think we can do something other than cower and whimper.  
  
Wait a minute. I hate cheerleaders.  
  
***  
  
Hello, minna! Here's another chapter! I'm sorry it took so long to get it out, but, you know, life. Oh well. Anyway, here's review replies!  
  
Black Dragon: That's what I was aiming for! Thankies!  
  
Asian princess 61: Thank you for the compliment. ^-^ Just to let you know, I'm not going to do any "questionable" parings. I might make little statements that could lean one way or the other, depending on how you look at them. If you don't want Hiei/Kurama, well, you can interpret it the way you want. That way, everyone's happy!  
  
Bard: Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm saving Yusuke for last. I think he would be the perfect way to close this collection. And I'll try to have him reflect on everybody.  
  
Angel Red Flame: Sorry this wasn't Kuwabara, but it was his sister! I got close! Actually, I'm trying to put characters that aren't connected next to each other, so that I get varying ideas.  
  
Panther-chan: (for anyone who's wondering, yes, I do know Panther.) Yes, I had to talk about the tall objects, and yes, I was working on it during chemistry. ^-^  
  
Sparrow 319: Wow, this has to be the nicest complement I've gotten in a while! To answer your questions, I'm almost 16, and I've been writing little stories on paper since I was about 10, but I've written stories in my head since I was 3. (I still do that!) I'm sorry about the beginning and ends, but...well, Notebook is not nice to me. If it's still messed up when I post this, I'll fiddle with it until it's fixed!  
  
Ok, that's all, I think. School gets out in about two weeks (hooray!!!) so I should have more time to write. Still, don't expect this to get out very fast. I go weeks without an urge to write. Just to let you know, I've written each of these in a day. I just get lazy in between...snff...oh well. If you want chappies to come out quicker, review, because it makes me want to keep writing!   
  
I'll talk to you all later! And tell me who you want next!!  
  
-WMG  
  
P.S. I've decided to add a quote at the end of my chapters from my quote collection. Ok, here we go (clears throat):  
  
"Well, congratulations. The people were clamoring to make asses of themselves and you gave them the means to do it." -Joan, Clone High 


End file.
